Fuddland
The train manager on my journey up to Leicester yesterday raised a few smiles with his greeting as we set off from St. Pancras:
Good morning, I’d like to welcome you all onto the 10:55 fast service to Nottingham, calling at Leicester and Nottingham only. Coach A has been designated a Quiet Coach: use of mobile phones in this carriage will automatically trigger the ejector seats. Also please note this is a non-smoking train; all toilets have been fitted with smoke alarms and high-pressure water jets.
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